Did you ever see Shrek 1, where the princess sends the donkey into the woods to find a blue flower with red thorns. The donkey feverishly looks around “blue flower, red thorns, blu flower red thorns…man this would be so much easier if I wasn’t color blind.” That’s how I feel lately.
I’m engaged, but taking a break from wedding planning. I keep hearing these horror stories of what men become when they get married…and I’m beginning to think, what am I setting myself up for.
Brent is an amazing guy, which in my experiences with men…he’s right up there next to god, minus all those magical powers. But in all seriousness (which i will take my best attempt to be serious for the rest of this paragraph), he’s a pretty patient guy…and I am one of the MOST stubborn woman in the United States. I’m also very indedpendent, and he doesn’t need to be with me all the time, which is nice cause I can breathe on my own, (except when I’m having an asthma attack). He’s even open to travelling with me, extra credit for that! And for many other reasons that I’m not going to get into here he really is the man I should want to marry and spend the rest of my life with.
However, this time of year, something happens to every man in my immediate family and those in close contact. They all go pretty much NUTS. See it’s deer hunting, and my family likes to hunt, and that’s cool I can handle that. However, it’s a little over the top. My brothers and Brent have spent the last nine months preparing for this weekend, and now, they can’t even think about the aspects of daily living. I’m pretty sure all personal hygiene hits the wayside this weekend. They must breath in too much of that buck scent or something cause they are one card short of a full deck. They have spent all this time planning for this weekend, yet they forget a few of the major details…like eating! I asked what they were doing for food, and I don’t know I think they are planning to eat grass. When I offered to make a pot of chili, they were so excited…makes me wonder what they would have done if I didn’t make food.
But here’s the part that worries me most. Brent is talking about hunting the other night and says (no lie)
“well I figure, since I’m marrying you I better buy a gun.”
and continues on with his hunting talk. WOAH, back the hunting train up. Should I ask why he needs a gun because he’s marrying me? At this point I’m feeling a little bit scared to be riding alone with him in the car, in the dark. Is he planning to kill me? Is he buying a gun for my protection? I’m not seeing the correlation to hunting.
So I mention this odd comment to my brother, who responds with…
“Yeah he should. Heidi that gun that he was looking at is such a good deal, and it’s a good gun.”
Does anybody else think tis is strange? These men are crazy. I’m getting slighlty concerned that there just might be shotguns going off at our wedding, you know since Brent is married to me I guess he needs a gun. So can you see my fear in getting married now. It’s not just the run of the mill wedding. Brent wants to buy a gun, because we are getting married.
Therefore, I do want to get married, but I do NOT want to get shot!
Note: since this conversation I did determine that Brent figured since we were getting married he would be hunting around here more. He needs a special gun to hunt here and he doesn’t have one, therefore he needs to buy one. He missed that middle step when explaining this concept the first time….details!