Confessions from a crazy pregnant woman!

If you haven’t made the assumption by the title I’ll be a little more blunt, the title is referring to ME! Prego, Ragu…eating for two (or vomiting for eight depends on how you look at it)!

From my quick observations these are the first 3  things I hear, beginning with Congratulations:

1. “When are you due?”
Answer: Valentine’s Day (2/14 for those who don’t celebrate it)
2. “How are you feeling?”
Pregnant…in other words, the regularly scheduled nausea could stop anytime, and while you think that might be the main reason for me to run to the bathroom every half hour you might be slightly mistaken since I also seem to pee every hour too.  Some have suggested I’m “glowing” I would suggest that it’s the excessive oil that has decided to take over my face, or maybe you have glowing confused with exhausted…I don’t know, just saying is all.

3. How far along are you? I find this funny, cause what they really mean is “you don’t look pregnant”  but you seem a bit chubby so this is the polite way of figuring out when you started putting on the weight!
My polite response: 7 weeks

The husband and I secretly decided to start trying after words of wisdom suggested this process can take a while…they lied!  I guess what those wise folks didn’t realize was we’ve had plenty of practice…oops did I just say that out loud.  I actually had most people convinced that I was against getting PREGO until after summer, cause I’m a fan of a few alcoholic beverages while soaking in the sun, or wherever.

Apparently some woman somewhere was praying for bigger boobs, and mysteriously I ended up with them in the past few weeks.  If the baby is only the size of pea, how come my boobs are the size of watermelons?  That just doesn’t seem right! And my husband being the supportive and caring man he is read his chapter in the What to Expect When Your Expecting Book and realized it’s perfectly safe to play with them as long as he acts first…
insert “Awww” followed by me running one more time to the bathroom then searching frantically for cinnamon gum…

One topic that continue to baffle me is the Daily Dozen Diet I’m supposed to be on.  (3 proteins, 4 Calciums, 4 Vitamin C’s, 3 Leafy Greens or Yellow Veg., Some Fish oily stuff, 5 or more Whole Wheats, a few healthy fats…) and yet only take in an additional 500 calories a day.  Who in Jesus’ name eats that much food in one day?  I’ll confess, I eat a lot of food now, and I’m no where NEAR this.  I’m good with the calcium…Milk does a body good (and I’m from Wisconsin) other than that I’m f***ed…no pun intended!

Being the artsy (now more fartsy than artsy…it goes with the pregnancy) person I am I thought right away of thing I should be documenting for the scrapbook.  I looked online for ideas.  Some people saved the stick they pissed on….I found that a little odd.  No one has perfect aim on those babies, so it’s pretty much like playing around in the toilet after you pee…gross!  Others had regular “Bump pictures” to track the baby’s growth…I thought this was neat, so I tried it and realized I’m not a 100lb cute pregnant woman with a little belly starting to stick out.  Mine looked more like a tire…again BAD IDEA! 

Either way, since this blog is about enjoying life so I thought I’d conclude with  the positives in life…We’re having a baby! We are thrilled, my nieces are already hoping for a boy, they have names picked out and everything; Our parents and siblings are already showing up with maternity clothes and baby gear; others are planning baby showers and other are already rethinking vacation plans in February. I’m sure there will be more posts to keep you in the loop!

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7 Comments

Filed under Proud Parents

7 responses to “Confessions from a crazy pregnant woman!

  1. Greg Watling

    Congratulations to both of you! I love the way you write! Really made my day. Hope you feel better soon, though.

  2. Congratulations!!

  3. Remember, I told you would make this annoucementin June. Other then that I am not saying anything until I am sure of myself. Hope to see you in a couple of weeks. Take good care my Dear Niece, we love you. Aunt Jan

  4. Linda Millermon

    Congratulations!!!! I am so very excited, and I sort of heard last night at dinner when one of the Watermans mentioned she guessed when Tim called with the news. I am so happy for you guys. I really mean that. Best wishes and lots of love, Linda and Keith

  5. Chris & Jeff Sanderfoot

    Congratulations to two of the nicest people! You are going to make awesome parents, and Diesel will be a big help I’m sure! Enjoy every moment and each stage of pregnancy! It’s a miraculous journey!

  6. sunshinequeen

    Aw! Chris you are so sweet! Thanks for the reminder to enjoy each step. It’s hard to appreciate how amazing it is to be getting fat and sick all at the same time!

  7. Big, big congratulations. Very exciting time for you and your family. If you get a free moment, think you might like this brief video — ahamoment.com/pg/moments/view/1570 — it’s one woman’s “aha moment” experienced at the birth of her first child. I hope you find it, and the rest of the site (created by Mutual of Omaha), to be inspirational.

    Best of luck,

    jack@ahamoment.com

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