Losing the life race.

There are few moments in our lives when we stop to recognize the world around us. We hastily make our way through the day, scurrying to the next appointment or fretting to meet the next deadline.  Thankfully, pregnancy has given me an excuse to do just the opposite…SLOW DOWN.

Today was a rather gloomy and disheartening day as far as weather is concerned.  It was damp with a slight chill in the air, the kind that makes you yearn for a cozy place to cuddle up with a nice blanket….recognizing my desire to do nothing I let my head follow my heart tonight.  I arrived home with an hour of lightness to spare, and took the opportunity to take the dog out to my brother’s place to run with his cousin.  After an hour of muddy fun, we returned  and jumped at the opportunity to change into my comfies, slumped into an over-sized chair, cozied up with a fuzzy blanket and a book (Have a Little Faith by Mitch Albom, author of Tuesdays with Morrie to be precise). It was my idea of heaven.

Before long I was engrossed in the book.  Our 80 lb. dog made my heart skip a beat when he decided to crawl up on my lap and nestle between my legs, occasionally nudging me for a few strokes or looking contentedly into space as his eyes grew heavy.  The storyline was a soft-hearted look at one man’s journey through faith. It didn’t take me long and I had over 50 pages under my belt, a sign of an easy read with a good storyline.  The now dark solemn house was lit with the spotlight that shone down on the book, making Diesel and I center stage. In this moment, time stood still and I could take in the gifts that I so often overlook.

I don’t know how much time had passed, but I found myself in a state of pure contentment.  Diesel had found a comfortable place warming my lap and now his head extended to my chest, as if the protector of baby and mom.  With each deep breath he took I felt time slow down. Baby kept me aware of “it’s” presence in my womb with an occasional nudge.  The peaceful moment caught me attention, as I read a line from the book that resonated within me (I’ll paraphrase for you)…

“The secret of happiness is to be satisfied, be grateful for what you have.  For the love you received and for what god has given you.”

As I reflect ahead to what craziness life will bring with a child, husband and full-time career, it seemed appropriate that right now I could experience a moment that I may need to remind myself of in the days, months and years that lie ahead.  Life is not a race I am eager to win.  As my own eyelids grew heavy and the dark night continued on, I began dreaming of the life that would be joining us in 3 short months….the nights that would be sleepless and conflicts that would be stressful…but also the joy of looking at the face of our own child and being grateful for the life that has been given to us.  As I drifted in and out of this dream I was reminded of the children’s book that I loved as a child, and even more as an adult- a mother throughout her son’s life picks him up in her lap while he sleeps and gently rocks him while singing…”I’ll love you forever, I’ll like you for always, as long as I’m living, my baby you’ll be!”

What a life that will be?! A life filled with tiny, what may seem to be uneventful events, that will equate to years of happiness and fulfillment.  It is a life I am eagerly awaiting to live- not race through!

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