Bittersweet

Dear Caleb,

Today marks your sixth week of life.  Each day I spend with you is a gift that shows just how blessed we are as a family.  Yesterday you were baptised with your cousin Keaton.  The entire weekend we were showered with support and love from family and friends.  Your godmother Megan flew in on Friday and spent the weekend admiring you.  And Gma and Gpa O came in on Saturday afternoon to drool over how cute you are for the rest of the weekend.  But today when everyone had left and dad returned to work it was just you and me again. Today marked the beginning of the end in several ways.

Today marked the end of you being a “newborn” according to your clothing as you are officially adorned in 0-3 month attire.  I learned this last night as we tried to stuff you into a newborn outfit only to have your toes be curled and the neck and armpits stretched to your chest.  I teared up a bit as I realized you were quickly outgrowing many things.  As of last week you were 9.75 lbs and 23 inches long.  Seeing you in your baptism outfit yesterday, you were so handsome and mature I felt you were off to your junior prom.  Thankfully you still fit into my arms and nestle your cheeks into my shoulder as we close the books on one more week together.

Today marked the first time your Gma and Pa would witness your charming AM routine with countless smiles.  They would hear your beautiful voice as you would daze into the dining room chandelier and flail your arms as if the ceiling were your orchestra.  You have become so active in a stationary position, which I realize is an oxymoron.  What I mean is you are so strong you kick and move and have begun to get your body moving while lying in one place.  I recognize this will be short-lived as you are nearly rolling over already.  Gpa O also felt the brute strength of your legs as you “jumped” while he was holding you in his arms. I fear the days you will crawl out of my lap or run off to play without me.

Today also marks my last few days of maternity leave, and while I am only returning to work part-time I just feel like we just haven’t had enough time together.  You and I have become such good buds these last 6 weeks.  I seem to have memorized what works and when to pull out what tricks.  And while I can hold you and snicker at the sounds of your innocent cries, my heart breaks to hear your cry while in the arms of someone else.  I have been blessed with your laid back attitude and you have spoiled me with sleep.  We have established our morning bonding time with tummy time on my chest, often followed by dining room table exercises and entertainment.  I have learned that wiping your face with a cold wipe makes you scream, however a warm bath is the highlight of your week…as long as we can get you dried off and dressed in a timely fashion.  I have mastered the world record pace to change you diaper and keep you happy and have managed to find numerous ways to keep you content while buckling you into your car seat, as we make weekly attempts to get out into the world and mingle.  I have been as brave as I can as I trust you in the hands of others.  And I have attempted to maintain a calm and relaxed attitude recognizing that you tend to mimic my attitude and roll with the punches.  It certainly hasn’t been easy, but I love you for being so understanding as I learn how to be the best mom I can be.  I have spent countless hours the last 6-weeks completely mesmerised by you, gazing into your eyes, staring as you sleep in my arms, or enthralled as you find your voice and fine tune your movements.  I am trying to memorize every detail of you as you morph before my eyes.  I don’t want to let an opportunity pass where I choose let you go in light of something “more productive.” I choose my breaks wisely and will eagerly contend your dad’s claims that I should lay you down.

Your dad and I stumble occasionally as we try to figure out what it is you need, yet we continue to marvel at your every expression.  You have been so alert and aware since the moment you were born.  Having you in our lives has made us both better people.  In fact I think your dad and I appreciate each other more as both of us have had to respect and support each other through this learning curve.  We are both so excited as continue to write our chapter as a family.

So today is bittersweet.  We are so excited to share every moment of your life with you, but there is a hint of sadness as I turn the page of your 6-week milestones. I am so fortunate to have you as my son. You have made my life so much more meaningful and added so much joy to our family.  We are very honored to be your parents. And as I sing most nights…I’ll love you forever, I’ll like you for always, as long as I’m living my baby you’ll be 🙂

Love you More,
Mom
(Dad and big brother Diesel too).

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1 Comment

Filed under Bundle of Joy

One response to “Bittersweet

  1. Lisa Thiry

    We miss you at book club – maybe we will see you and baby Caleb later this Spring or Summer. It’s been awhile since I got caught up on your blog but enjoyed all the pictures and baby news. He is adorable. Congratulations Heidi…good luck with going back to work. Your words about countless hours spent just gazing at his every movement brought back memories!

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