Emotionally Me

Dear Caleb,

It is 10:05 PM and I am just getting home from work.  It has been an entire day without snatching a smile, giggle or cry from my little man and it breaks my heart.  The first thing I do on a night like this is sit in your room, rub my lips to your forehead and smile as you explore your dreams.  You stir ever so slightly to acknowledge the fact that I am there, but remain in a steady slumber.  Watching you sleep is the most peaceful moment for me.

As the clock ticks and we close the books on your 8th month of life I am amazed at how much you have grown and developed over the past month.  If there was a race for speed crawling you’d be the champion every time.  You can motor clear across the house in a matter of seconds.

At 7 months you began pulling yourself up on things, but now you have built enough confidence to take steps while holding on, and have let go with both hands to grab both remotes (Somethings in life are better when done with double fists!).  You have found the toilet paper in the bathroom and easily could take all of it off the roll, then shred it, if we let you.

We have learned what things weren’t kid proof as your curiosity gets the best of us each day.  Sometimes we fearfully rescue you in the nick of time, other time we share your pain as you acquire one more bruise, scratch or bump on your head.  You have learned to gracefully brace yourself as you plop back down to the floor and move along to the next adventure.  Last week we added latches to all cabinets and gates at the steps and entrance to the office, as you have proven that you are not afraid to try new things including crawling halfway up a flight of stairs, or sneaking under the computer desk to find the cords.  The wine rack has been moved- out of sight out of mind, and the Christmas tree has offered opportunities for smiles.  You get two full rows of branches to tug and pull whatever ornaments fit your pleasure.  I have a feeling Jingle Bells might be your Christmas carol of choice (maybe mom will get around to posting the video).

Being your mom has completely changed my life.  I can spend hours playing and laughing as you share your joyful and humorous personality.  You have been the most laid back yet expressive and personable child I have ever met.  You can light up the room with your smile and chuckles, or turn heads as you sing in church. You have mastered the way to fool others to getting what you want, amazing how you can go from psuedo-crying to laughing in a matter of seconds ;).  You are a momma’s boy through and through.  Your face lights up when I walk in the door and your arms and legs will begin in an all out doggy paddle my direction (if held) or speed racing (if crawling).  You know that I can’t resist snatching you up in my arms and snuggling into your little neck for a few kiss/tickles.  I enjoy holding you as much as you enjoy being held.

You either wake up so happy letting out a joyful bellow or so slow that you cuddle back into my shoulder glaze your eyes over and yawn a few more times.  Sometimes I confiscate you from your crib and smuggle you into our bed, invite Diesel up for some relaxing time in bed together as a family.

Speaking of Diesel you squeal with glee at the site of your big brother, although he’s becoming less receptive of your tugs.  However dinner and breakfast are a different story.  Someone taught you how to share very well, so much so that you will feed diesel your leftover gold-fish or Cheerios right out of your hand.  Mom and Dad are aware of Diesel’s increased need for attention and exercise, yet you seem more than willing to go along with the flow and up for any adventure we throw at you.

Mom on the other hand is noticing a shift.  Every day I get to work and immediately miss you.  Yesterday a classroom of kids were held at gunpoint just a few hours from here, I find myself worrying more now than ever.  What if you were in that classroom? How can I protect you from dangers path?  I know things are fine right now, life happens and we’ll take each day at a time, but I love the moments we can just be together.  9 months has blurred before my eyes, and 7 PM comes way to fast every night!  Yet putting you to bed is the icing on my day.  Resting your cheek on my shoulder, getting lost as we read books aloud or hum and sway into a state of contentment are the pieces that make my heart melt.  I could hold you forever.  I hope you dream big and enjoy life, I certainly am! Happy 9 months little man!

Love you more,
mom

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Filed under Proud Parents, The Caleb Times

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