Dearest Beatrice (your womb name),
It has been 40 weeks and 5 days since you’ve become a part of my body, and I can’t believe how fast the time has come. Tomorrow we’ll be induced and coax you to come out. Tonight, there are a zillion and seven things going through my mind and even though I’ve been here once before I feel like it’s all new to me. I don’t know that a woman ever becomes “experienced” at giving birth or becoming a mom. While I might have learned some things with your older brother, there is so much more I have yet to learn. And without a doubt, you will mold and shape me in ways I never knew were possible (as I sit here looking at my belly, I guess you could take that sentence literally)!
We have spent weeks preparing for you. You’re room is in order with a delightful wardrobe awaiting your sweetness. We’ve been practicing “how to be a big brother” with little man, and anticipating how schedules and routines will be altered with your entrance to the family. And while this is all so amazingly wonderful and exciting, there is still a little fear and anxiousness. Round 2 of pregnancy was so different than with your brother, and I have to think about all the unexpected things that we will face together. Tomorrow is just a piece of the puzzle as we begin our life together. You have been so kind on the inside, embracing my body with sincerity and empathy as we made our way through trimesters 1 and 2. With very few curses of pregnancy symptoms, I was able to carry on with life without many nagging reminders. You made the incubation period seem so seamless that I felt I was able to enjoy more of our nesting time together. On the flip side, this makes me a little nervous. Your brother was relentless on the inside, but is very mellow and laid back on the outside. Will you be laid back on the inside and a little terror on the outside? I guess we’ll have to wait and see 😉
While I was hoping you’d make your way on your own, I feel prepared and shocked that tomorrow we will finally welcome you into our family. We know you are a girl and we were able to plan accordingly. You have an abundant wardrobe waiting for you, complete with accessories and shoe collection that rivals your mom’s. (Between you and me…We may have an issue with closet space, but don’t worry, we can always invade the boys! Shh, that will be our secret plan). I even sewed you a little dress…actually almost 2 dresses. Thanks to a friend of mine, I was able to get together with her and make your baptismal gown out of my wedding dress, which then sent me into a sewing frenzy that I made a skirt and few other accessories. I have a feeling there will be a few more coming! We also chose your name, but are keeping it a surprise. Even your dad joined in on the fun with making some fun wall art that will be reveled to the rest of the world when you arrive, as we wouldn’t want to give away any hints at your name! Your dog-brother (Diesel) keeps us company every night as we have taken up sleeping on the couch, and subsequently I’ve been replaced in bed by your older brother. That’s probably a good thing, since dad needed to be reminded of what it’s like to wake up in the middle of the night to help out when needed. Also your brother needed some daddy bonding time, so that when you and I spend time together he is cool hanging with dad.
I have a sneaking suspicion that you are going to be a daddy’s girl through and through! Your dad is so cute and giddy. I’ll have it be known that your dad decided your name. Choosing a name for your own child is no easy task when your parents are teachers. He is so excited by your name and talks to you all the time. Your brother also is so in love with you, giving you kisses and showing me his baby all the time. The girls at daycare (he’s the only boy) have trained him well, as he crosses his arms and says “Sh-Sh-Shh” as if to be holding and calming his baby sister. We are surrounded by an amazing group of boys (Dad, Diesel and Caleb). It makes me wonder if you’ll be more of a tomboy or a girly girl? I might need some help in the girly girl department.
Well little miss Bea, I think this is good night. I will look forward to meeting you on the other side. Safe travels and be well my little one 🙂
Love you more,