Tag Archives: motherhood

Motherhood Musings

Delayed Posted started February 6, 2014…see disclaimer

The daily routines of being a mom are not typically something I would write home about.  Our life is filled with amusement, yet nothing I would assume out of the ordinary from any proud-mom who balances a professional and personal life amidst crazy family schedules, and finding sanity between the wee hours of sleep.  This isn’t extraordinary, its just our new normal.  Although these little ones have a way of throwing you for a loop and capturing the moments that shape our life story.

Its been a few months since I’ve paid tribute to the life of a vivacious little woman.  The development of my now 21-month-old daughter over the past few months has me in giggles and tears on a regular basis.  She has the tenacity of a lion, and her sweet tender face pops up whenever I hear Katy Perry’s “Roar” and then turns around and melts your heart with her sweetness.  Her consistently furrowed brow might confuse you that she’s concerned or angry (trust me you KNOW when she is angry), most frequently it is evidence that she is thinking or studying (IE: people watching).  The gawking gift must be a hereditary trait that skips a generation.  Between her temper, stubbornness, and determination I often wonder how a girl of such stature can run the house the way she does.  Appears I have either a role model or a nightmare amidst my presence! 🙂

Little-d-Tales: YIR 2013 &emdash; IMG_3409

While her facial expression might catch you off guard, her vocabulary and statements will put you in stitches.  The beauty of the second child is that the first feels a responsibility for teaching them lots of things (both good and bad).  Through Little Man’s learning he has passed on the ABC song to his sister, as she sings a long with considerable accuracy to the ABC’s when sung.  Observation is her key source of learning words, skills, or gathering ideas for 10 second activities.  She frequently is seen admiring the works and speech of her older brother and attempts her version.  Not uncommon for me to hear “mom, mom, mom…(pause) HEIDI” when she’s frustrated by whatever is distracting my attention away from her.  She answers questions like an adult often with “I good”, or “I (d)on(‘t) know; ” unresponsive requests result in her running to you to grabbing your hand with a nudging “come;” she giggles and announces when she farts and when instructed to say “excuse me,” she response by saying “burp.”   She has even taken to imitating the dog by attempting to pick a variety of toys with her mouth, and I mean all of her toys.  She’ll sometimes carry dolls the size of her by her teeth, balls, and even some of Little Man’s stray cars or other various toys end up between the teeth of my little “puppy.”

Little-d-Tales: YIR 2013 &emdash; IMG_0577     Little-d-Tales: YIR 2013 &emdash; IMG_1039

It’s hard to believe almost a year ago she was sporting some incredible rolls.  Her inside name was “Princess Round Face” and the definition of her bones and muscles were very lovable and undefined.  Since walking at 9-months there is little of the round face remaining.  I chuckled as her horse-riding legs would run sprints in excitement.  Her legs are straightening and she is just now growing out of the 18 months clothing that she wore last winter.  Her steady growth chart has leveled and the percentile between height and weight have swapped spots.  We’ve never had to worry about her eating habits as broccoli remains a top favorite.  From splashing in pools to our current swimming lessons she seeks adventure ON HER TERMS, as she doesn’t rest for long.  I love coming home and surprising them, finding them entranced in some obscure yet riveting task OR the sneaking surprise that I’m home and an instantaneous party occurs!

Little-d-Tales: YIR 2013 &emdash; IMG_9958  Little-d-Tales: YIR 2013 &emdash; IMG_1502

 

Life certainly is not a walk in the park, but it is one hell of a fun ride.  The best words I can use to describe her are:  Full of Spunk! When I reflect on our nearly 2 years, I think how boring our life must have been before, and what education I’ll gain from being her mom.  Who knows where we will be 20 years from now.  I don’t think I’ll  win any notorious awards, or add any credentials behind my name simply by being her mom.  It will however, provide some eclectic experiences and bring a sense of joy that no PhD, Nobel Peace Prize or Gold Medal could bring.  It comes with a gentle hug each night and sing-song voice that says “la do” to which I can respond…Love you more!

Dream Big Little One 🙂
mom, aka HEIDI (yes, I’m yelling).

Disclaimer: Blogging happens at home, at night when I feel like it.  I am persistent that blogging is not allowed to get in the way of my life.  My theory is I sit behind a computer most of the day at work, when I’m home I have 3 hours of active family time before the kids go to bed.  The bedtime routine often includes me falling asleep as I lay with my children, convincing them it’s cool to fall asleep at 8 PM.  On the nights I’m actually awake after 10 PM, it’s power hour for me.  My most productive hours are between 10 PM and 12 AM.  My husband on the other hand turns into a pumpkin.  I started this post at 10:47 PM.  By the time I gathered some intellectual thoughts, found the pictures, a child started crying and blogging for the night ceased.  I came back one month later with another blog idea, and realized I never finished the first thought.  I had the best intentions of completing both posts.  Repeat steps 1 and 2 above and I now have 2 incomplete blog posts.  The likelihood of feeling creative and inspired to sit down at a computer is seldom. Hence another month passes, repeat steps 2, 3, and 4 and I realize I need a support group for bloggers anonymous, have deemed creative pinterest moms with 7 kids smoke crack in their free time and secretly hire someone else to make their life look perfect and instill guilt into any mom that doesn’t hire a graphic designer for their children’s birthday invites! Alas- I’m here completing a post that I will appreciate some day, and will have no idea why the 21-month-old post was almost 2 months after her 2nd birthday?!  I know how I feel about the mom’s that track the months after their child turns a year anyway. Meh, I’m still enjoying life (na-na-na-na-boo-boo)!

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Filed under Musings with Mae, Random thoughts

Becoming Mom {part 2}

Dearest Beatrice (your womb name),

It has been 40 weeks and 5 days since you’ve become a part of my body, and I can’t believe how fast the time has come.  Tomorrow we’ll be induced and coax you to come out.  Tonight, there are a zillion and seven things going through my mind and even though I’ve been here once before I feel like it’s all new to me.  I don’t know that a woman ever becomes “experienced” at giving birth or becoming a mom.  While I might have learned some things with your older brother, there is so much more I have yet to learn.  And without a doubt, you will mold and shape me in ways I never knew were possible (as I sit here looking at my belly, I guess you could take that sentence literally)!

We have spent weeks preparing for you.  You’re room is in order with a delightful wardrobe awaiting your sweetness.  We’ve been practicing “how to be a big brother” with little man, and anticipating how schedules and routines will be altered with your entrance to the family.  And while this is all so amazingly wonderful and exciting, there is still a little fear and anxiousness.  Round 2 of pregnancy was so different than with your brother, and I have to think about all the unexpected things that we will face together.  Tomorrow is just a piece of the puzzle as we begin our life together.  You have been so kind on the inside, embracing my body with sincerity and empathy as we made our way through trimesters 1 and 2.  With very few curses of pregnancy symptoms, I was able to carry on with life without many nagging reminders.  You made the incubation period seem so seamless that I felt I was able to enjoy more of our nesting time together.  On the flip side, this makes me a little nervous.  Your brother was relentless on the inside, but is very mellow and laid back on the outside.  Will you be laid back on the inside and a little terror on the outside?  I guess we’ll have to wait and see 😉

While I was hoping you’d make your way on your own, I feel prepared and shocked that tomorrow we will finally welcome you into our family.  We know you are a girl and we were able to plan accordingly.  You have an abundant wardrobe waiting for you, complete with accessories and shoe collection that rivals your mom’s.  (Between you and me…We may have an issue with closet space, but don’t worry, we can always invade the boys! Shh, that will be our secret plan).  I even sewed you a little dress…actually  almost 2 dresses.  Thanks to a friend of mine, I was able to get together with her and make your baptismal gown out of my wedding dress, which then sent me into a sewing frenzy that I made a skirt and few other accessories.  I have a feeling there will be a few more coming!  We also chose your name, but are keeping it a surprise.  Even your dad joined in on the fun with making some fun wall art that will be reveled to the rest of the world when you arrive, as we wouldn’t want to give away any hints at your name!  Your dog-brother (Diesel) keeps us company every night as we have taken up sleeping on the couch, and subsequently I’ve been replaced in bed by your older brother.  That’s probably a good thing, since dad needed to be reminded of what it’s like to wake up in the middle of the night to help out when needed.  Also your brother needed some daddy bonding time, so that when you and I spend time together he is cool hanging with dad.

I have a sneaking suspicion that you are going to be a daddy’s girl through and through!  Your dad is so cute and giddy.  I’ll have it be known that your dad decided your name.  Choosing a name for your own child is no easy task when your parents are teachers.  He is so excited by your name and talks to you all the time.  Your brother also is so in love with you, giving you kisses and showing me his baby all the time.  The girls at daycare (he’s the only boy) have trained him well, as he crosses his arms and says “Sh-Sh-Shh” as if to be holding and calming his baby sister. We are surrounded by an amazing group of boys (Dad, Diesel and Caleb).  It makes me wonder if you’ll be more of a tomboy or a girly girl?  I might need some help in the girly girl department.

Well little miss Bea, I think this is good night.  I will look forward to meeting you on the other side.  Safe travels and be well my little one 🙂

Love you more,
Mom 🙂

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Filed under Bundle of Joy, Proud Parents

Ponderings of a Pregnant woman!

Hello- is this thing on.  Phew, let me clean out the cobwebs and dust a bit quickly.  uh-um

As you may have noticed I’ve been living life and not documenting it so much.  Since my last post (was it seriously around Thanksgiving?!?!?) I’ve grown (not so much vertically), we had a few Christmas celebrations (I think one every weekend) and look at that, we are in a whole new year.  Thankfully I have a few months to get my head around the idea that we’ll be 3 + 1 family soon. On the little man front things are happening so fast- everyday is a new adventure.  New Words, New Explorations, New Stories, and new routines.  I’ll dedicate a separate post to the Caleb Times in a bit.

While it may appear that I’ve abandon this blog, or I’m not dedicating the time and energy to my 2nd pregnancy story (My mom reminds me weekly how the second child is going to feel when she- yes she- finds out I didn’t blog the experience for her like I did little man), that’s absolutely not true.  I almost feel as I have done less complaining and more reflecting with round 2.  You see with round 1 I was too distracted by my need to puke, and then the heartburn and insomnia, extremities the size of watermelon’s and my out-of-control weight gain.  Round 2 is a complete opposite, minus the basketball attached to my belly button, I feel great.  There are days I’d like to go to the gym and pretend I have a new years resolution.  I do have self-induced heartburn after a selection of foods, but really most cravings and pregnant tendencies have been under control. 

I also feel more prepared, more organized with this round.  (Here’s where I might need to point out how laid-back I am in comparison to many first-time moms).  You see round 1- we had 1 ultrasound, people were trying to prepare me for many different scenarios, giving me pointers on aids and remedies to progress things along. Well I don’t learn very well by listening or reading…I guess I need to experience it myself to make everything click. So this time around it just seems more organized and yet, even more laid back.

To begin we prepared a fun little announcement by having little man be the bearer of good news (either in person or via picture for those who lived far away) with a home-made shirt.

Then we opted to find out the gender of our little one- which for round one I appreciated the element of surprise.  Again we were a bit festive and decorated a cake (pink on the inside) announcing the news to family….only to come home and realize that the dog had eaten the entire cake.  The back up plan was a pretty entertaining story 😉

We did a family and mini maternity shoot a few weeks ago…literally my husband and I did the photography seeing how I own a photography business and all ;).  Little man decided to keep things true to form. When asked where the baby was, he showed us…

He even offer his little sister a kiss…

Staying true to tradition…here’s the bump at 24 weeks.

Now that the Holidays are over and we don’t have plans to host company for a little while we are giving little man’s room a big boy makeover, and turning the guest room (Also known as the red room) into the new girly nursery.  Fun thing about girls is I can take things I thought were cool during wedding planning and turn it into some inspiration for a girls bedroom….hopefully I’ll have a few pictures to post this weekend (although you might want to keep an eye on my creative blog- Fosteringacreativelife.com for all the details)

I also went Christmas shopping and happened to pick up a few things for the in utero child from her older siblings (Diesel is still our first born- I just didn’t have quite the labor pains with him).  A few bags of girls clothes from some generous friends and the closet is quickly filling….which means I better keep cleaning out my stuff

In just 3 more months-ish we’ll have a daughter to greet you.  Hopefully, I’ll get on the ball and post a few more updates between now and then!

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Writing our Life Story: the next chapter

There comes a point in your life when you feel fulfilled.  The first look at a newborn and the world around you goes still.  Your heart is forever changed in a way that you never thought possible. The life you imagined in your head for years, suddenly becomes a reality unraveling before your eyes. The nights of hanging with girlfriends, are somehow replaced by sleepless nights and early bedtime that you wouldn’t change for the world. You choose to spend 5 more minutes watching your child explore their world, over cleaning up the dishes after dinner.  The days of a clean house seem less important, and time spent watching your child’s 45 minute bath become more meaningful and enlightening each day. The moment you realize every tear, scratch, and sad moment felt by a child doubles in strength for a mother’s heart, is the moment you realize that you are living your life for something much bigger than yourself.

Balancing your life takes on a whole new meaning.  This past summer I charaded my way through a circus act, attempting to balance a professional life (working 50-60 hour work weeks), a creative life (getting my photography & blogging businesses off the ground), and a family life.  Now that the chaos has ended and there is 5 minutes to clear my head, I’m realizing that my job as a mother trumps all other opportunities in life.  In 10 years I  will not  be able to go back and watch my 18-month-old son grab onto the edge of the counter and swing like a trapeze artist. The life I have created could easily continue on each day with a majority of my time spent focused on the monotonous activities of daily life.  However starting in September I chose to take an active role in my life, focusing my efforts on what means the most to me, family.  While it’s certainly not feasible for our family to have me do this on a full-time basis, perhaps it has given light to how I focus my attention in daily life.

I have never regretted the life I have chosen.  I value each aspect to my life, and am grateful for the opportunities and challenges I have experienced.  My professional career is one filled with research, innovation, and teaching opportunities which fulfill my innate desire to learn and lead others.  My creative life is an opportunity for adventure, to follow a passion, a belief, and allow myself to be the creator and the decision-maker all in one.  What matters is how I choose to spend my time.  What if I chose to not go to church on a Sunday morning and instead spend one morning with the husband, son, dog and myself all huddled into one bed that is too – small for our growing family?  Would people judge me?  Most likely, but here’s where I get to choose how live my life.  What if I choose to take a walk with the family over cleaning the house?  Would people judge me- you might if you saw the constant disarray of our house lately.  What if I spend less time in small talk at work and focus on getting the work done so I can leave my work at work? Does this make me less dedicated than others who work beyond a standard work week? The point isn’t that I don’t care, it’s about choosing what is most important and dedicating the time to prove it.

You have not seen a blog post here since July.  Doesn’t mean I wasn’t interested, or didn’t try.  It means I arrive home at 5 PM to a happy and energetic little boy who steals my heart.  We choose to have a family dinner and then spend our last hour together as a family, before I nestle into bed with my little man at 7:30 PM. I watch eagerly as his eyelids grow heavy, how he wrestles to distract himself so he can avoid sleeping for just 5 more minutes, and eventually listen as his breaths grow deeper and soft hums replace the squeals of laughter heard less than an hour ago.  Saying goodnight is always a ritual including a kiss on the forehead enclosed with a whisper “Dream Big Little Man,” (which sometimes prompts him to raise his arm to shew away the strange feeling on his forehead).  Often times I return to repeat the same “Good Night” ritual as I head off to bed myself.  From 8 PM to 10 PM is my time to re-aquaint myself with my husband as it seem likes months since we sat down to a bowl of popcorn and a movie. Over the past month I felt less inclined to do what “needed to get done” and  replaced these activities with what “I want to do most.”

Being a mom is the most rewarding and exhausting thing I have experienced in my life.  In an effort to make things even more complicated and exciting we decided to add another member to our family.  Consider this our announcement…

Little Man will the add the title of “Big Bother” to his name come April of 2012, creating a whole new chapter in our life story.  I can choose to be a passenger in my life, or the driver.  With some unchartered territory up ahead, and new challenges coming our way, I have the opportunity to mold and shape the story of this adventure we call life!

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Filed under Deep thoughts, Foregiveness, Let's talk about me!, The Caleb Times

Finding my voice

In the weeks leading up to my surgery we crammed as many projects in as possible. Well the surgery was Thursday and I’m on my way to recovery. So you can expect more frequent posts from me as I regain my ability to type.

In the meantime, I thought I’d share a clip of my little man singing for your listening pleasure.

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Filed under The Caleb Times

Motherhood: the untold story

I never intended this blog to be a mommy-blog, just simple things that bring joy to my life.  Must say-little man has a lot to do with that…I digress.  Not all stories of motherhood make your heart flutter.   People who portray themselves in such a manner kind of make me want to throw up on them, just to throw a wrench into things.  This excerpt is strictly for your reading pleasure. 

My son has a nagging curiosity for the toilet, which creates some challenges.  Our first injury incident, little man was lifting the toilet seat and dropped it while his other hand was sitting on the toilet rim-Ouch!  Major mommy tears were displayed as guilt and sorrow overwhelmed me.  When the husband and I moved in together we made a rule immediately.  No matter who uses the toilet both the seat and the lid must be closed before you leave the bathroom.  This proved to be helpful when Diesel came into the picture because it prevented him from drinking the toilet water.  I learned last week that it’s even more important to keep the lid closed with little man.  A visitor (who will remain nameless) used our bathroom and left the seat up.  Little man found that splashing in toilet water is utterly exciting and was quite disappointed when he was removed from the situation…ok really he was PISSED.

Not only is he attracted to the toilet when it’s not in use, he also (maybe even more so) attracted to it when it is in use.  Not that you need to know my specific routine, but after a half hour drive home, greeting the family, I usually disappear to the bathroom for a sense of relief.  Little man has caught on to this and if he’s not begging to be held or attended to, he’s crawling behind the toilet.  Just yesterday he discovered a little silver handle that he can pull down.  Imagine the slight shock when he discovered this while I was taking care of business.  He was WAY more amused that I. 

In case you aren’t aware men stand when they pee (maybe you knew that, but I always want to make sure I communicate clearly).  Little man was intrigued by the sound of my husband relieving himself and went to check it out, crawling right up to the toilet seat.  Apparently men lack the skill of cutting it off.   Let’s just say he got a little shower and needed a shower later.  In my husband’s defense the alternative would have been a bigger mess all over the bathroom, so I supported him in peeing on our child.  Does that make us weird?!?!

Perhaps you have dog-children and are curious about the sibling rivalry between Caleb and Diesel.  I guess the best way to define it- Caleb taunts Diesel.  Caleb’s enlightened to offer the dog his toys. Yet when Diesel takes them he know he’s going to be told to “drop it” from mom and dad.  Diesel stubbornly obliges and lets out a grumpy sigh.  Turns out you can train a dog new tricks.  Diesel’s new response…Take the toy, get up and drop the toy on the other side of the room, then return to his regularly scheduled program. Little man’s response (Curled bottom lip, watery eyes and bellers).  Glad they understand each other.  I guess you could say Diesel tolerates the little man.

That changes a little bit with one key ingredient- when little man is eating.  We have a Counter Height table for a reason- we have big dog who would otherwise swipe food (or so we feared). Thus Diesel must properly beg at Caleb’s side in hopes he’ll share a few scraps his direction.  Actually Diesel could care less where the food lands, as long as it’s within his reach.  Caleb has learned this so well he’s becoming ambidextrous.  He’ll feed self and brother simultaneously (Dog with right, self with left) and sometimes he forgets which hands are designated where and there might be some saliva sharing between them.  Our dog neglect has not only resulted in a lack of exercise for all, but a serious weight gain for dog-child.  He spiked an all time “over-weight” classification at 107 lbs this winter. I’m not sure if he heard the Vet or if the subliminal “weight control” food sent him into a frenzy desiring all scraps that are not weight-reduction-dog-friendly.

Speaking of swapping spit, amazing what skills your children pick up and are willing to share.  Somehow Caleb has learned the art of kissing.  Keep in mind it’s more like and open mouth spit encounter, that’s if he feels like your paying attention to him (I may have experienced a few bite marks to the shoulder on occasion)  This is all fine and dandy with family….but attempting to kiss random grocery store workers…I guess we’ll be having the “sex talk” sooner than later (Note: In “Sex talk” I’m not implying that we are going to encourage sex at a young age- just the opposite, but I was curious how you interpreted that!)

I’ll spare you the stories of baby poop, teething, and baby sickness.  I think I provided enough toilet talk to share how un-perfect our world can be.  Life certainly has joyful moments, but it’s not all warm fuzzies and puppy dogs!

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Filed under Exploring, Proud Parents

Emotionally Me

Dear Caleb,

It is 10:05 PM and I am just getting home from work.  It has been an entire day without snatching a smile, giggle or cry from my little man and it breaks my heart.  The first thing I do on a night like this is sit in your room, rub my lips to your forehead and smile as you explore your dreams.  You stir ever so slightly to acknowledge the fact that I am there, but remain in a steady slumber.  Watching you sleep is the most peaceful moment for me.

As the clock ticks and we close the books on your 8th month of life I am amazed at how much you have grown and developed over the past month.  If there was a race for speed crawling you’d be the champion every time.  You can motor clear across the house in a matter of seconds.

At 7 months you began pulling yourself up on things, but now you have built enough confidence to take steps while holding on, and have let go with both hands to grab both remotes (Somethings in life are better when done with double fists!).  You have found the toilet paper in the bathroom and easily could take all of it off the roll, then shred it, if we let you.

We have learned what things weren’t kid proof as your curiosity gets the best of us each day.  Sometimes we fearfully rescue you in the nick of time, other time we share your pain as you acquire one more bruise, scratch or bump on your head.  You have learned to gracefully brace yourself as you plop back down to the floor and move along to the next adventure.  Last week we added latches to all cabinets and gates at the steps and entrance to the office, as you have proven that you are not afraid to try new things including crawling halfway up a flight of stairs, or sneaking under the computer desk to find the cords.  The wine rack has been moved- out of sight out of mind, and the Christmas tree has offered opportunities for smiles.  You get two full rows of branches to tug and pull whatever ornaments fit your pleasure.  I have a feeling Jingle Bells might be your Christmas carol of choice (maybe mom will get around to posting the video).

Being your mom has completely changed my life.  I can spend hours playing and laughing as you share your joyful and humorous personality.  You have been the most laid back yet expressive and personable child I have ever met.  You can light up the room with your smile and chuckles, or turn heads as you sing in church. You have mastered the way to fool others to getting what you want, amazing how you can go from psuedo-crying to laughing in a matter of seconds ;).  You are a momma’s boy through and through.  Your face lights up when I walk in the door and your arms and legs will begin in an all out doggy paddle my direction (if held) or speed racing (if crawling).  You know that I can’t resist snatching you up in my arms and snuggling into your little neck for a few kiss/tickles.  I enjoy holding you as much as you enjoy being held.

You either wake up so happy letting out a joyful bellow or so slow that you cuddle back into my shoulder glaze your eyes over and yawn a few more times.  Sometimes I confiscate you from your crib and smuggle you into our bed, invite Diesel up for some relaxing time in bed together as a family.

Speaking of Diesel you squeal with glee at the site of your big brother, although he’s becoming less receptive of your tugs.  However dinner and breakfast are a different story.  Someone taught you how to share very well, so much so that you will feed diesel your leftover gold-fish or Cheerios right out of your hand.  Mom and Dad are aware of Diesel’s increased need for attention and exercise, yet you seem more than willing to go along with the flow and up for any adventure we throw at you.

Mom on the other hand is noticing a shift.  Every day I get to work and immediately miss you.  Yesterday a classroom of kids were held at gunpoint just a few hours from here, I find myself worrying more now than ever.  What if you were in that classroom? How can I protect you from dangers path?  I know things are fine right now, life happens and we’ll take each day at a time, but I love the moments we can just be together.  9 months has blurred before my eyes, and 7 PM comes way to fast every night!  Yet putting you to bed is the icing on my day.  Resting your cheek on my shoulder, getting lost as we read books aloud or hum and sway into a state of contentment are the pieces that make my heart melt.  I could hold you forever.  I hope you dream big and enjoy life, I certainly am! Happy 9 months little man!

Love you more,
mom

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